Growth Together: Authentic Relationships as a Journey
- Lidija Poth
- Oct 31
- 2 min read
A Walk with Bobbie
While walking with Bobbie this morning, the autumn sun painted golden leaves on the path. Bobbie stopped to sniff a fallen branch, and I thought: relationships aren’t static—they’re a living journey. Growth isn’t optional, it’s the fuel that keeps love alive.
The Moving Triangle
Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love shows us love has three moving parts: intimacy, passion, and commitment. When one part stagnates, the triangle tilts. I’ve seen it—couples who stop growing together lose spark, depth, or trust. But when both partners choose growth, the triangle spins stronger.
Esther Perel, in The State of Affairs, writes: “The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.” This hit home. A past relationship ended not from betrayal, but from stillness—we stopped evolving. One partner grew; the other didn’t. The triangle broke.
Growth as a Shared Practice
How do we grow together? It starts with intention. I’ve guided clients to create “growth rituals”:
One couple reads a personal development book monthly and discusses it over wine.
Another schedules a quarterly “state of us” check-in—no phones, just truth.
A client once said: “We used to fight about who was right. Now we ask: ‘How are we growing?” That shift restored passion, deepened intimacy, and renewed commitment—Sternberg’s full triangle in motion.
For me, growth means inviting my partner into my world—sharing a new insight, a fear, a dream. Bobbie teaches me this daily: he grows, I adapt. Relationships work the same.
When One Grows and the Other Doesn’t
It’s painful but common. I’ve been the one left behind—and the one moving ahead. The gap widens. Perel warns: “Love is a verb, not a permanent state.”
Growth is the verb. If only one person verbs, love becomes a monologue.
But when both commit to the journey? Magic. A client and her husband, after 20 years, took dance classes together. Not for the steps—but for the laughter, the touch, the newness. Passion returned. Intimacy deepened. Commitment felt chosen, not assumed.
A Call to Grow Together
This journey is yours to co-create. How can you and your partner keep the triangle spinning? What small ritual will you start this week?
Share your growth story below or book a FREE Discovery Session | MyLifeCoachingHub to explore together. Follow @mylifecoachinghub for more.
Let’s grow—in love, with love.
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